1 email that changed everything.

Rewind the tape. Talk to the you that was there. Tell yourself the truth and open your door to freedom.

I pulled into the driveway and as I parked my car, there it was. Ahead of me through my windshield, my surfaced trauma was playing out like a movie. I was not sure this was still real. I questioned if I was getting sick or having a reaction to something I ate or I desperately needed to sleep(this is common in people who have significantly suppressed trauma).

(*What follows contains a multitude of potential triggers*)

Through the windshield of my car, in my driveway, in November of 2024, I saw clips of memories; a night I had not thought of in over twenty years.

Twenty-four to be exact.

Since the fall of 2023, every single part of my daily routine, life, house, parenting, living, social life, addiction life has changed.

Every. Single. Thing.

I chose to “stay one more day” and every single day I am grateful for that choice. This is a list of ten ways life has changed drastically.

When you have the space to process and respond like an emotionally mature adult, then you are processing your emotions in a healthy way and flourishing in this life.

Tranquility and harmony are within our reach if we just step aside and allow our ego to quietly pass by and step out of the way.

“What needs to change? For real change. Change that is a completely different direction than the path I was on. This was a message from the Universe, I could feel it. Suffering from chronic stress, burnout, grief, and skyrocketing levels of cortisol was not the way I wanted to live. I was given an opportunity, or as Gabby Bernstein says, ‘a detour in the right direction’”.

My life’s mission is to work with human beings from age two to two hundred and share with them the joys of being alive. I want to help people see the beautiful aspects of our world that can be cruel and uninviting. I want to promote a business that will be an agency of change. I want to be and promote the change that I want to see in the world, in other human beings.

There is a direct correlation between my inconsistency and my ability to multitask. Which supports which? Which came first?

It’s a little bit of all of it permeating into your psyche all of the time, spread out over time.

“Leave the light on if you’re able, ‘cause we both know you’re unstable. Call a doctor, say a prayer…choose a God you think is there”.

I lied to myself, my family, co-workers and my closest friends.

I have decided to share what I wrote during the week of the breakdown.

… in September of 2023, I suffered a complete mental shutdown after I had the mother of all panic attacks.