Canvas Rebel Magazine
Tell us the story of a risk you’ve taken – it could be a big, life changing risk or a small risk. Either way, paint the picture for us, tell us the backstory and all the relevant details so we can fully understand the context and circumstances around when and why you took the risk and tell us how it turned out.
On September 20, 2023, I experienced a significant panic attack. This panic attack took over my brain and catapulted me into the deepest, darkest week of my life. I felt like I lost touch with reality and had no idea if I would ever make it out of it. I don’t remember much of the week that followed but I do remember feeling scared and confused. Later I would learn this was called dissociating. I was convinced that my family deserved better than I could give them, and I questioned if my time on earth was through.
While my list of stressors I was experiencing at the time was lengthy, I was committed to regular yoga practice and recently graduated yoga teacher training. This was my self-care, and I made significant efforts to get to classes. What I did not realize was yes, I was arriving to yoga class, and that started to release the stress valve. However, not learning how to rest and reset my nervous system had devastating consequences.
My stress management technique at the time could be compared to the game Tetris. I was very efficient with clearing just enough of the puzzle for more pieces to drop. When my brain powered down from survival mode to power conserve, my body felt that and nothing else. I was not aware of the temperature, of hunger or thirst. I could not sense if I had to use the bathroom, and I could not remember the last time I even thought about a shower or brushing my teeth.
As I began to come out of the debilitating brain fog, I became aware of the piles of notes I had taken during the time my brain was operating in life or death. “I don’t feel like myself” should be reason enough” jumped off the post it notes and into my face.
What did that even mean? How do I know what feeling like myself feels like? After seeing a medical professional, who prescribed Xanax, and a leave of absence from my job, I began asking the questions that would course correct my entire life.
What needs to change? For real change. Change that is a completely different direction than the path I was on. This was a message from the Universe, I could feel it. Suffering from chronic stress, burnout, grief, and skyrocketing levels of cortisol was not the way I wanted to live. I was given an opportunity, or as Gabby Bernstein says, “a detour in the right direction”.
Doing the work of healing for real became my full-time job, therefore, I left the police department and town I worked for. Unsure of what would come next, but having faith, I walked away from a seventeen-year pension and phenomenal health benefits. Not to mention the people whom I had spent so much time with, they became part of me. However, answering 911 calls and being a first responder for twenty years was a significant contributing factor to the PTSD I was experiencing.
In the year since this happened, I have begun to heal the deepest of wounds, some that I did not know existed. Through sound therapy, yoga, journaling, movement, breathing, art, and meditation I have been able to begin healing the havoc that stress and PTSD wreaked on me. I have leaned into my 500-hour yoga teacher training, psychology degree, and extensive experience with human behavior and created a path for constructive healing, the kind of healing that changes your life.
Silver Lined is more than just yoga or yoga classes. Silver Lined offers an opportunity for someone to see themselves for who they really are rather than who they have been conditioned to be. Whether it is studio classes, individualized sessions or workshops, working with and healing humans in a time of need has always been my ultimate calling.
I offer a side of yoga and healing that has nothing to do with mastering postures, or creative headstands. I offer guidance and direction to other humans like me, who want to know more, who want to meet themselves for real.
Yoga is the vehicle in which we connect our mind and body and at that intersection is where life changing change occurs. What if through yogic practices, I can teach someone how to lower their own heart rate, take themselves out of flight or fight, and find a new level of peace and tranquility? What if through ancient yogic science and modern therapeutic techniques I can provide a service that compliments any person’s healing journey or invites them to start one?
Silver Lined is a healing business. I offer experiences, not just yoga classes. Each session attended with me is like a massage for your soul. Yoga offers a plethora of benefits that students cannot always access in a sixty-minute class once a week. For those who desire more, I offer personalized yoga sessions. Additionally, I will be offering a monthly healing membership where each month a new topic of healing is explored. The subscription comes with downloadable meditations, a 60-minute pre-recorded yoga class, journal prompts and specific healing exercises (such as sound or dirt therapy). I believe healing can be simple and accessible, inclusive to all.
In my year of healing and developing Silver Lined Healing, I have eradicated insomnia, an out of control eating disorder, high blood pressure and cortisol levels. Yogic philosophy, breathing exercises, mindfulness practices, gentle movement and rest have given me a second chance, a silver lining. Offering the same opportunity to others is my life’s work.